Coaching for Change

ARE YOU EMPATHY TRAPPED? Do you spend more time thinking about your friend's/partner's feelings than about your own? -Do you focus your attention on what the other person is saying during an argument, to the exclusion of what you want to say? -After leaving an argument, are you preoccupied with what the other person was thinking? -Do you spend more time trying to figure out why someone let you down than deciding whether his/her reasons outweighed your feelings? A "YES" answer to any of the above questions is a red flag to being trapped in empathy. Its normal and necessary to tune into someone else's feelings, especially when one is very close to that person. What we all must remember is that while we put ourselves in other person's shoes, we MUST strike a balance between OTHERS and SELF. Otherwise, empathy becomes a trap and one can end up feeling psychologically impoverished. Know your needs and wants and have your say for a healthy self ...

I dedicate this article to my favourite age group… the youth of today. This is a topic about which a lot has been said and written and yet it remains an enigma to most of us when it really shouldn’t be. It should be as easy as it is for a 4-year-old to tell a story. Recently I was invited to mentor a bunch of kids to polish their Public Speaking Skills. These kids were going to present their project to a group of judges and the best idea was to win an award to fund their idea. I first asked them to tell me about their project. As they told me about why they chose the project, the passion, enthusiasm, and energy in their gestures and body language was apparent. Then I asked them to present their idea to me as they would to the judges. Suddenly the whole dynamics changed, the same bubbly bunch became uptight, nervous and robotic. When I asked them what the reason was, they said:  -It’s a formal presentation so we need to look and feel serious. -It feels weird to stan...